This Wretched World In Time Has Become Blind

Across the sea she came to live alone
To find her soul and learn to love and live
And when she came she saw the broken shone

And it was not enough to simply give
But those whom she thought well would soon taste death
Locked inside a pit of flies and fumes
She crumbles to the ground and gasps for breath
For such injustice why has been made room?
As salty swamps do form beneath her feet
Now crouched within the stench of purest heat

Lost wonder creeps into her restless mind
This wretched world in time has become blind

* * * * * * * * *


I was feeling a bit poetic today, so I thought I would share with you all a little--or I suppose very large--piece of my heart. The other day Stacie and I had a short but informative meeting with our dear friend Jackie, whom helps oversee Abba Home orphanage. She is mostly in charge of the finances and looks after the general well-being of all the kids placed there. As Jackie was sharing with us various needs concerning the financial situation of the Home, such as the fact that the aunties whom look after the 31 children 30 days a month are payed only the equivalent of $60 USD, the subject of health made its way into our conversation. Stacie asked Jackie if any of our Abba children were HIV+.

We were not at all prepared for the answer we received.

Jackie informed us that Enoch is HIV+. Now I know that 'parents' are not supposed to have favorites, but I think I can safely say for the both of us, that Enoch holds that status. A sweet-spirited, thoughtful, friendly young boy of about 11 or 12yr., Enoch captured our attention as well as our hearts from the beginning. Of all the Abba children, Enoch just so happens to be the photographer of the crew. He is the most likely to coerce Stacie and I into handing over our cameras as he pleads with his most innocent brown eyes, "You please let me take photos?"

And I must say, he is quite gifted. One of my favorites of Enoch's photos was taken back when Stacie and I still lived at JjaJja Alma's. It was the day Ivan had come over to shave the kids' heads, and Stacie decided the best way to keep the kids entertained was to bring out a handful of balloons. And oh, how right she was! The kids went crazy. I don't know firsthand, because sadly I was in the shower during this event, but I can only imagine from all the crazy pictures Enoch took of the chaos. My personal favorite was a photo he took of Irene. She is an Abba girl probably about 13yr. old. It is a profile photo of her holding a incredibly inflated, bright orange balloon, and she is standing against a red brick wall. The photo is simple. It is nothing out of the ordinary. African child. Red brick wall. Orange balloon. But for some reason, that photo captured my attention.

Enoch is not the only HIV+ Abba Home child. Irene is as well. Technically she has never been tested, but both of her parents were HIV+, and every time she is taken to be tested, she refuses. Obvious denial of the situation. I don't blame her. If I were dying at 13yr. I too would rather pretend that I am not. I knew about Irene. I knew when I noticed her arms were the same size or smaller as that of the youngest children in the orphanage. And I wondered when we commented on her size why she did not crack a smile. Perhaps I too was in denial, of recognizing some of our very own Abba children were not well.

I think I know now why that picture captured me the way it did. Enoch took the photo; and he took it of Irene. The dying was drawn to the broken. He wanted to capture her beauty. He wanted us to see her as she really is. Beautiful. Whole. Innocent. But all the same, broken. He wanted us to recognize the beauty through the pain. He wanted to capture the moment and make us see it forever. So that when we come back to our comfortable homes in the States in a matter of weeks, we will remember that oceans and miles away-- there is a young girl who once held as tightly to a tangerine orange balloon as she held on to life. And as she stood against that red brick wall and stared off into the distance, completely unaware that she was being watched, and photographed--all the while Enoch knew. He knew that one day we would gaze upon Irene and her balloon, and remember that while we embrace our parents whom are still alive, and our boyfriends whom we hope to marry, and our friends whom we long to see . . .

His friend Irene is dying; He dying. And desperately hoping we will remember the days we spent beside them, holding them, loving them--that we may continue even at a distance the great work our Father has begun.

"God Cares. This I am sure"

We were robbed.

Yes that is right. There we were, walking three of us girls-Kelsey, AmyRose and Stacie all walking along in the middle of Kampala headed to the taxi park. I don't think we have elaborated on what it's like at the taxi park. You see, There is a big dip in the ground in the middle of the city that is crammed with hundreds upon hundreds of taxis all sitting and waiting for people...as a taxi is filled, then it will attempt to make its way out of the crammed taxi chaos out onto the crowded streets of even more taxis and people dodging the taxis not to get smashed. Thankfully, we have not witnessed that. However we have witnessed a bicycle flying down the main highway road which was sloped, allowing the bike to glide freely down hill. The courageous gentleman on the bike was even leaned down to make himself go quicker. As the traffic backed up, we bagan to slow, but the bicyclist was in no hurry to put on his breaks, so he slams right into the back of a vehicle...possibly not seeing the bright red car parked right in his way. We weren't sure. We think he made it up okay, but the traffic began to pick back up so we were not able to check.

Back to the robbery. There we were walking towards the taxi park when all of a sudden this gigantic semi comes down our road forcing us to get off the road due to the monsterous size. A man on the side of the road notices a)we were in danger and needed a very kind man to assist us in our trouble or b)there are three white girls that I can pick-pocket and they will be so concerned with getting off the road that I will have plenty of time to check all of their bags. If you thought a...that is what we obviously thought as well...however this kind man who swooped us up from the road to get us out of the way of the semi darting right at us had b in mind and was able to reach inside both AmyRose's and I's purses and take both of our phones. We both felt sick all day. To make things even worse, we were not able to find a taxi that would take us back to Entebbe to our homes...And the sun began going down and we did not want to be stuck in Kampala by ourselves after dark. So after we walked about ten miles all over the city we finally found a taxi that agreed to taking us to Entebbe. I could not think of anything else other than what I could have done differently that day to make all the terrible events that happened, not happen. It was consuming me and making me feel even more nauseated. As soon as I got on the taxi I saw that an adorable little girl-probably 2-was sitting in the lap of a couple people over from me and was excited to see that she could cheer me up. But as soon as I smiled at her, she began bawling and thought to myself, the one thing that could keep me from crying is now crying and that was when the tears began streaming down my cheeks into puddles on my shirt. She was afraid of white people. The guy next to me looked at me and said how was your day. I just wanted to say to him, "Obviously by river of tears flowing down, I have had a rough day and would appreciate it if you wouldn't ask such obvious statements and not continue this conversation." But instead I half smiled at him and said, "Well, sir, I have actually had better days than this one." He just smiled at me and said," God cares. This I am sure." OF COURSE HE DOES. He cares. Even of the stupid little things that we care about. No he does not care about cell phones. But because we care about them, he cares. He cares because he loves us. He cares because he created us and wants to see us happy and wants to see that we are well taken care of and this man who was sitting next to me had no idea what a difference he made in my life with those six simple words.

Then I began thinking about the situation a little more clearly and not so emotionally disturbed by the loss of our precious communication to the rest of the world. I began to think about the man that stole the phone and how awful it must be to be a theif. How he probably has a family just like we do. He probably has a wife and some kids and hungry stomachs to feed when he got home that evening. His kids birthdays are probably coming up and he just needed money to buy the kids a nice meal of rice and beans to celebrate. If you want to know the greatest need in Uganda after being here for four months...I would have to pinpoint the lack of jobs. That is why kids are not schooling. Because they know that even if they do get the opportunity to attend school, they will still not have much of a future unless they want to become corrupt and steal and cheat to get anywhere. This man was just taking his opportunity when he saw white people. In his mind, he was thinking,"They may have something worth some kind of value and whatever they have I am sure they will be able to get again without much of a problem." Which, in a weird twisted way, I believe that we would do the same thing for the sake of our children. We would do anything to find a way to make a little money to feed the hungry...especially if the hungry are those you bore and see every day. Now I am not in any way justifying stealing. That is wrong. I just got a different picture of the man who stole our phones and my heart was changed from bitterness to brokeness. Thank you Jesus, for opening the eyes of the blind.

A blizzard...In Uganda??

Just realized it has been almost TWENTY days since our last blog...and we are EXTREMELY sorry about it!! The days have been filling us with so much lately that by the time we get our emails caught up, it is WELL past our bedtimes...well mine anyway, AmyRose never sleeps!! Also, the internet has been super shady lately and comes and goes as it pleases...

We have been taking shelter inside our home due to the blizzard of bugs that is among us here in Entebbe. There has been an insane mass release of the bugs that has been smothering our air. These dreadful awful bugs are referred to as "lake flies" and they are over-taking Entebbe. Because of their light-weight bodies, these bugs are easily transported by the wind from the sesse islands daily ...but it has not been as bad of a problem as it has been the last two days. The bugs do not move without the wind. So the wind carries them in, then the wind settles, and that is where the bugs stay...all day until another gush of wind comes to move them to their next location. They are white flying creatures similar to fruitflies...only about three times the size. The life span of these critters are about twelve hours. So they come, annoy all outside life, and then die. But they don't normally die until about 8 or 9 oclock at night so we are stuck inside all day waiting for this time of bugs to end, which rumor has it, will happen by the beginning of May. So as we make our journey out, we are forced to either cover our faces with shirts, scarves, or our personal favorite... FACE MASKS. The Ugandans think we are crazy, but we'd rather be crazy than be infested with these nasty little creatures from within. Pray that these little critters find some place else to reside so that we can move out of our home!! Also for AmyRose because she has developed an allery to these bugs and it is only getting worse...She said this morning, "I feel like death." We cannot have that happening!!

My birthday was on the 23rd so we are preparing to have a celebration at Abba home this evening...Since the flies have kept us prisoners inside our own homes, we have been busy baking away making all sorts of treats-cookies, cakes, and muffins...so hopefully the kids will not get a sugar over-load as to never having this much sweetness in one evening!!

Dumpster babies anyone??

Okay so here are a few updates---

Malaria-
After the horrendous episode with Stacies illness, Emily took a blood test which tested positive. Then AmyRose began feeling ill and we decided it would be best for her to take a test as well. Guess what?! Positive again. Then Mama Pease took a blood test, not because she wasn't feeling well, but because we wanted to find out if the test was faulty....which in turn was positive. We found out that we were reading the tests incorrectly and that Stacie had TWO lines which was in fact positive but the rest of the family had ONE line, which means we do not have to have lock-down and quarantine the entire household!! Stacie is feeling 100% better-thank you for all your prayers!!

Remand home-
As we told you in the last blog, we have been put on a program for every Saturday to go and minister to the kids in the children's prison. We have been super excited about this because most of the kids in the prison have done nothing legally wrong, they just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time!! So before going on Saturday, we stopped at the supermarket to get huge bags of candies and suckers for the kids!! We walked the rest of the way with these massive bags of candies and once we got there, we were greeted with friendly smiles of about ten people we had not seen before. The wardens assistant came out and told us we were not allowed to see the kids. With our hearts breaking, Stacie asked "Why can't we see the kids??" "Because you do not get to." "Look, we came all the way from Entebbe-which is about an hour and a halfs drive on a "taxi" to see these kids. We have to see them." "Sorry. You are not on the schedule." "Yes, we are!! We are on the schedule to come EVERY Saturday. Why can't we see them." "Well, we changed the schedule." At this point, we were super frustrated and decided to just leave before we got ugly. We ended up passing candies out to the street kids. It is always a challenge with the language barrier because we are always wanting to share Jesus, but it is so hard when we cannot speak the language. So we just pass the suckers out saying Jesus loves you...and pray that they understand. At least their tummies will be satisfied for the time being. :-)

Ssanyu-
We went to the Ssanyu babies home again today. And again we are sitting here with the stench of soured milk, unwashed, snotty nosed children and are continually reminded with every whiff of the beautiful bodies that so often go untouched and that they are so precious to Jesus. Our hearts break secondly with the thought that Emily was found only weeks ago in a dirt pit, unclothed, with no explanation. Just a bare bottomed baby crying out from hunger pains and not having a mommy or daddy to ease her comfort. Or for Benjamin who was found in a dumpster and left for death. Benjamin was malnourished to the point that his bones were popping out of his body and he was struggling for breath. For months they had to treat Benjamin with tender care in hopes and prayer that he would continue breathing. After 6 months, Benjamin is finally able to eat solid foods and is always all in smiles every time we see him. Or how about Francis' story. Francis is a ten month old who, they say, was the most malnourished kid they have ever seen. He came from the hands of a demon possessed woman who, the demons told her that if she fed her son, they would kill her. So she wouldn't feed Francis and slowly, Francis was starving to death. The police found Francis and took him to the Ssanyu. Francis has a lot of problems and needs so much care. He is ten months old and cannot sit up on his own. He does not see very well and makes no motion to sound. Please pray for Francis!! and all the kids at the Ssanyu babies home!! and all the orphans all over the world because if you want to make Jesus happy, you will take care of the widows and orphans because that is the heart of Jesus!! AMEN!! We love you all and we love the support that you give us daily!! We are so grateful to have this opportunity to serve in Uganda and see where the Lord leads!!

Healing and Ssanyo

Well the Malaria epidemic has finally taken a turn for the better! While Stacie is still coughing quite a bit (like every time she tries to laugh) and blowing quite a plethora of thick green snot on a pretty consistent basis (thought you'd love the details), she is WAY better than what she has been. Energy and health is slowly but surely returning, and she is finally able to move out and about without passing out or becoming light-headed and/or nauseated. Praise God! However, our dearest 'little sister' Emily, of the Pease family has contracted Malaria as well. She woke up feeling ill this morning, and produced a positive test result, so be sure to keep her in your prayers.

Stacie, Papa Eric, Ivan and I were able to trek out to the Ssanyo Babies' home this morning, amidst the torrential downpours and crazy drivers of Uganda. We made it safely (barely) and thoroughly enjoyed the morning hanging out w/ toddlers and babies, as well as feeding them and assisting in 'potty time.' Papa Erc personally fell in love with a young girl named Emily, who was brought in just a couple weeks ago, after being found in a dust bin. And I personally fell head over heels for a 1 1/2 yr. old young boy named David. SUCH a hilarious and adorable little boy.....as Stacie has previously mentioned, ALL BABIES ARE UP FOR ADOPTION :) :) :)

Tomorrow we will head to the Naguru Remand Home (children's prison) to love on and minister to some kids. Prayers for relationship building and effective ministry. And thank-you for all prayers sent up for Stacie's health!

Also, I have been asked to help lead Group Therapy at the Early Learning Primary School in Entebbe. Our friend Katherine Bodo is studying psychology/counseling and is 'practicing' counseling services at the school. The kids we are working with are ages 11-14yr. boys and girls who have behavioral problems and are struggling academically. We had our first session on Tuesday--and it was quite interesting. I am VERY excited to be working alongside Katherine, especially doing something I love to do. But i was rudely awakened by a dose of culture shock during our first session. There is an obvious racial barrier, a language barrier, and an enormous culture barrier. Please pray that God will grant wisdom to us as to how to best relate to these kids and how to go about initiating healing in their lives.

Thanks again for thoughts and prayers and God bless!!!

Measles...Mumps...Malaria??? No way!!

Yep that's right. Malaria. The mosquito-Anopheles- carrying infectious disease that causes diarrhea, vomitting, coughing, nausea, stomach pain, muscle aches, head aches, fever, chills, sweating, restlessness...and Stacie has developed all symptoms. Of course Stacie, who seems to be the one susceptible to getting all over seas diseases-African skin disease, typhoid, etc...-would get it even though AmyRose is the one who has been failing, consistently, to take her malaria medication and gets bit far more than Stacie does. Stacie began feeling restless and devoloping flu-like symptoms about a week and a half ago, not really understanding how she could be getting the flu when the weather is as constant as it is. She had just got back from praying with Jajja Alma-which has malaria and shared with her that her malaria began with flu-like symptoms-and on her way to meet up with AmyRose at Abba Home, found herself on the ground with people running up to her and trying to help her up. She had no idea what had just happened but she grabbed her stuff quickly and took off, far away from the crowd of people that had formed around her. She realized that she had collapsed and had not been hit, and that this illness she has been experiencing might be something more than just the flu. I rushed home where Krisann urged me to take a blood test. The first test we took came up positive for malaria and we didn't believe it so I took another one and sure enough, the results were positive.

I was very disturbed that I had malaria. I mean, it totally makes sense because lately I have not been wanting to do anything or even be here in Uganda. I have just wanted to sleep, but I couldn't fall asleep. I just laid there thinking all day, okay, God why am I here when I am feeling this way. I should be out doing something, anything...but instead I am just laying here in bed and not doing enough. I blamed it on satan saying that of course satan would want me to be knocked down and not doing anything for God. Then Krisann had said, "You know Stacie, It isn't always satan that knocks us down. Sometimes God knocks us down so that we can find our rest in Him." And that is when it hit me. It was Jesus. Because sense we have been here, I have been going back and forth with the same questions, am I doing enough? What else could I be doing? Am I doing anything that is just wasting time?? Sometimes I think we can all fall into this trap that satan wants us to get in that we miss what is going on right before us. If he can get our thoughts consumed with the need to do more and more, we totally fail to miss what we are able to do for God and that we are just the tool being used. The last five days has been absolutely miserable for me. I have had to allow everyone to wait on me, which really is a difficult task for me to do, and just lay around. It has also been really good for me because I have had plenty of time to "Rest in His arms" and reflect on why I am here in Uganda and where I get my strength and who really is in control of this trip. Continue to keep us covered in your prayers and thank you for all of your support!!

A Day with the Big Brown Beautiful-eyed Babies...

First off let us start of by apologizing for such a delay in our posting. We have been yelled at by several people asking for more posts..so here you go!! Now it is your job to comment on all of our blogs...just so we know that you are really reading them and praying for us...we need lots and lots of prayer. We will go into prayer requests in a separate blog, as for now, let us elaborate how beautiful brown skinned babies are...

Where: The Ssanyu Babies home
What: An orphanage for kids under three- there are 49...ALL ADOPTABLE...children in this particular orphanage. 49 kids and very limited hands in caring for these beautiful unwanted babies.

Our Heart- When we went to the Ssanyu babies home the first time, we were in search of baby orphanages that would allow adoptions to the US. When we were there, we got hold each of the babies for about five minutes each while we fed them a bottle of milk and then had to lay them back in their crib until the next feeding time. The stench of these babies made your nose turn and be so ever thankful for our own mamas who spent much time and labor in making sure that we were well taken care of and bathed if we got to smelling that horrific. Tears came to our heart and we knew that we had wanted to come back and hold the babies for more than just five minutes. We wanted to come and bathe these tiny little ones and hold them for as long as they allowed. We just wanted to show them love. It is one thing when playing with kids whom are older and will remember who you are and remember at one time a very nice "Mzungu" came and played with us and showed us love...but it is a whole different thing when you get to hold a baby in your arms that has never felt love and will probably never remember who you are. I believe this kind of thing is much more humbling and rewarding. We are not getting praised by the kids. We are not getting a Way-buh-lay Nyabo-Thank you Madam. We are just simply doing because we want them to feel the love of Christ through our humbled hands.

Well, we got to the home and sadly found that we were too late for the bathing and their first feeding time of the day. They sternly told us that the babies do not get "disturbed" throughout the day...which means we were not able to hold them like we had planned. Heartbroke sunk in as we were led to the older class of kids. In this class of 4-9 month olds, we were introduced by the only two teachers in the room, to twenty pupils who were sitting on the ground, surrounded by toys and told we could not pick any of the kids up. We were just like, are you kidding us. We cannot hold any of these children. Appearantly in this class they were being taught how to sit up on their own and learn to play by themselves. So we, as in Amyrose, Kelsey, Virginia and I, all played with the kids while being reminded countless number of times to, "Put the children down." We are so amazed by these two women who took care of this many babies. Even with the four of us assisting the two of them we felt extremely exhausted and ready for a long nap after only three hours of being there. Running after tissues for snotted noses, trying to quiet down the screaming children, and changing soiled diapers became exhasting rather quickly.

A few days, and four showers later we continued to get whiffs of the soured milk and it brought back the memories of the snot dripping down the warted faces and how precious the tears flowing down from the big beautiful brown eyes...And how God loves all-even if their aroma is not as pleasing as we desire....We know that the faithful God we serve, adores these unwanted, untouched, undesirable babies, and that is why we are here-because God has given us a yearning desire for more of what He desires-The Orphaned.