25

The countdown has officially begun. . . . only 2 and 1/2 weeks until my(AmyRose) July 1st return to the States!!!

I'll be honest--I have to the very best of my ability attempted to be fully present during the entirety of our trip here. I have purposefully neglected counting days left or days-to-go. But, at the 2. 5 weeks left mark, I have finally found it quite impossible to NOT count down the days. So, 20 days it is :)

20 days until my 19hr. layover in London, England. 21 days until I fly into KCI airport and then race straight to Des Moines, IA to be in my best friends' wedding. 21 days until I see my dear Tommyboy. My nearest and dearest of friends. My family. And while 21 days gets me quite excited, to the point of consuming my daily thoughts at times--I have found myself quite torn concerning my return to the States.

As absolutely stoked as I am to see everyone again, and especially to see my best friend marry the man of her dreams--I must say I am absolutely terrifed. I am not simply coming back to friends and family and good milk and Sonic and the ability to drink tap water without becoming ridiculously ill. I am coming home to unemployment. I am coming home to a car that will be costing $1,500 to fix in order to pass inspection. I am coming home to ZERO health insurance. I am coming home to college loans. I am coming home to a quite large, unpaid hospital bill due to a discrepency with my last insurance company. I am coming home to LOTS of white people. But mostly, I am coming home to uncertainty.

I don't know much about my return. I know who I want to see, but that's about it. I don't know what I will drive or where I will work. I don't know where I will live. I don't know when I will get to come back to my home for the last 6 months.

And yet, in all the uncertainty, I am overwhelmed with Peace. God has said, time and time and time again, "AmyRose. Please, BE STILL. "

Being still is far from easy for a wanderlust soul.

It is hard to be still when ever time I we go to Abba Home my heart breaks a little more when I realize within less than 3 weeks I won't be a 5 min. boda-ride away from 31 children who have completely stolen and broken my heart. It is hard to be still knowing that although I came as I had promised, and although I loved and served and gave--I will be leaving orphans behind. And beggars. And witch doctors. And widows.

It is hard to be still when visions of HIV/AIDS patients, 8lb. 8month old babies, and children with tropical ulcers covering half their limbs haunts my mind. It is hard to be still knowing most of those left with a month supply of vitamins and 20 tabs of pain killers, but short of that not a hope in the world.

It is hard to be still, most of all, when I am uncertain.

I am uncertain of whether or not Abba kids will ever be adopted, or what/who they will grow up to be. I am uncertain that HIV+ Emily from SSanyo babies' home will live past 2 yrs. of age. I am uncertain whether the lame beggars in Kampala will eat a single meal today, or tomorrow, or the next day. I am uncertain of where I will be upon my return. I am uncertain of where I will work, live, love.

It is quite a deal easier to be still in Uganda, 3 months in. It is simpler when our days consist of playing with orphans and reading on the beach on Sundays and waking up every morning to the best Kenyan coffee you've ever tasted, the brightest sun you've ever seen, and not a care in the world other than loving whomever may draw near.

It is not so easy to be still in the States. It is not so easy 21 days away from more uncertainty than I ever knew possible.

And yet, He continues to whisper, and sometimes scream at the top of His immortal lungs, through their dark chocolate arms and thankful eyes,

"BE STILL."

So much to do, so little time.

Things have been absolutely crazy lately...Sorry that it takes so long to update our blog...we need to get better at this but I think by the time we do, we will already be home!!!

We had a team come in from the States under the organization called House of Friends... The director John Gross and I have been friends for quite a long time and he is actually how I got connected to come to Uganda three years ago. He became a non-profit status about a year ago and have been doing incredible works for the Kingdom!! They have raised the funds for an orphanage (Abba Home) which has been up and running and housing 31 kids since July of 2008. They now have recieved the funds to build house #2 and we are really excited for it to be built so we can meet the new children that will be coming in.

When they first came in, we were able to assist Alex Bennet in leading a 4 day, 3 night childrens camp. Expecting 400 kids the first day, registration began at 2pm and by 5pm there were only a handful of kids. Knowing that everything starts later in Uganda, we were not discrouaged. About thrity minutes pass and kids began flowing in from all over Entebbe. We had three hundred kids arrive at the church and from there, we made the march all together to the camp. The march was about two and a half miles and if you have never walked that far with three hundred kids, I believe you probably shouldn't try it. :-) What an adventure!!!

After getting to the camp site, we met up with another three hundred kids and by this time, it is well after the sun had gone down and now all of us volunteers are trying to get everyone rounded up for a meeting before bathing, dinner, and lights out. Keep in mind that none of the kids can speak english very well so it makes this entire camp extremely challenging!!!

The camp overall went so well and AmyRose and I had the opportunity to tag team preach about the miracles of Jesus three different times over the course of the four days. The 600 kids that came to the camp were all between the ages of 3 and 16 so to keep the attention of all the kids was almost impossible, but with God, all things are possible and He made a way for us to make it exciting enough that ALL the kids paid attention!!!

During this time of the camp, it was all very exhausting for both AmyRose and I for we were both infected with parasites once again. AmyRose with Bilharzia and I with Giardhia, we were treated and are feeling more normal again. Just keep our health in your prayers!!

AmyRose had the opportunity to venture off with John Gross' team to Busia where they are hosting a medical mission for nine days. I talked with AmyRose a couple days ago and I am sure she will elaborate further upon her return, but she has said they are seeing about 200 patients a day and as I was speaking with her she had an elderly woman to the left of her clawing at the ground in a fetal position because she was in so much pain and a one year old to the right of her weighing a whopping four pounds. She also had the opportunity to witness a grown man in so much pain that he was weeping more than she had ever seen a grown man weep before. His thumb was the size of her wrist and was abnormal in color. The interpreter said that as he was working on the farm, he jammed something up his thumb..which would make sense for how big his thumb was...but after they numbed him they sliced his thumb open and after digging around for several minutes found out that he did not jam something inside his thumb...he jammed his thumb. So she had to hold together the skin while Dottie-a nurse from Texas- sewed him back up.

Meanwhile back in Entebbe :-) I have been doing a various amount of things!! Such as going out to Abba home and getting all the children's stories together along with pictures of each child. Right now, they have a very basic response to questions they have been asked such as when all the children are asked what they want to be when they grow up, almost all 30 kids replied with "Doctor". As I was asking the kids questions, I got a much different response than I was even imagining. I asked Irene, if she could remember a childhood memory and she immediately shook her head. Moments later, tears began streaming down her face as she recalled a memory from her very haunted past. Every child after Irene had much of the same response as Irene. I believe that most of these kids have never been able to share these stories with anyone and they are definately in need of release. So you can continue to pray for the hearts of these children that they will understand the importance of healing and how Jesus desires them to be set free.

Kelly and I went to Ssanyu babies home again yesterday to find that two of the babies had died. They were not sure what they died from, but it devestated both Kelly and I to hear that they died. Eighteen are in the process of being adopted out of Ssanyu and eight new babies have just arrived, three of them being newborns!! They are just absolutely precious!!! So if anyone is wanting some babies...just let Bethany Hartzler or Amy Shackelford know, and they can get your adoptions started for you!!!

I have also been getting the guest house ready for the girls to come, which they are coming in tomorrow and we are so excited and so ready to have them come!! Well you can continue to keep us in your prayers as we finish off the remainder of our trip!! See you all in a month and a half!!!

This Wretched World In Time Has Become Blind

Across the sea she came to live alone
To find her soul and learn to love and live
And when she came she saw the broken shone

And it was not enough to simply give
But those whom she thought well would soon taste death
Locked inside a pit of flies and fumes
She crumbles to the ground and gasps for breath
For such injustice why has been made room?
As salty swamps do form beneath her feet
Now crouched within the stench of purest heat

Lost wonder creeps into her restless mind
This wretched world in time has become blind

* * * * * * * * *


I was feeling a bit poetic today, so I thought I would share with you all a little--or I suppose very large--piece of my heart. The other day Stacie and I had a short but informative meeting with our dear friend Jackie, whom helps oversee Abba Home orphanage. She is mostly in charge of the finances and looks after the general well-being of all the kids placed there. As Jackie was sharing with us various needs concerning the financial situation of the Home, such as the fact that the aunties whom look after the 31 children 30 days a month are payed only the equivalent of $60 USD, the subject of health made its way into our conversation. Stacie asked Jackie if any of our Abba children were HIV+.

We were not at all prepared for the answer we received.

Jackie informed us that Enoch is HIV+. Now I know that 'parents' are not supposed to have favorites, but I think I can safely say for the both of us, that Enoch holds that status. A sweet-spirited, thoughtful, friendly young boy of about 11 or 12yr., Enoch captured our attention as well as our hearts from the beginning. Of all the Abba children, Enoch just so happens to be the photographer of the crew. He is the most likely to coerce Stacie and I into handing over our cameras as he pleads with his most innocent brown eyes, "You please let me take photos?"

And I must say, he is quite gifted. One of my favorites of Enoch's photos was taken back when Stacie and I still lived at JjaJja Alma's. It was the day Ivan had come over to shave the kids' heads, and Stacie decided the best way to keep the kids entertained was to bring out a handful of balloons. And oh, how right she was! The kids went crazy. I don't know firsthand, because sadly I was in the shower during this event, but I can only imagine from all the crazy pictures Enoch took of the chaos. My personal favorite was a photo he took of Irene. She is an Abba girl probably about 13yr. old. It is a profile photo of her holding a incredibly inflated, bright orange balloon, and she is standing against a red brick wall. The photo is simple. It is nothing out of the ordinary. African child. Red brick wall. Orange balloon. But for some reason, that photo captured my attention.

Enoch is not the only HIV+ Abba Home child. Irene is as well. Technically she has never been tested, but both of her parents were HIV+, and every time she is taken to be tested, she refuses. Obvious denial of the situation. I don't blame her. If I were dying at 13yr. I too would rather pretend that I am not. I knew about Irene. I knew when I noticed her arms were the same size or smaller as that of the youngest children in the orphanage. And I wondered when we commented on her size why she did not crack a smile. Perhaps I too was in denial, of recognizing some of our very own Abba children were not well.

I think I know now why that picture captured me the way it did. Enoch took the photo; and he took it of Irene. The dying was drawn to the broken. He wanted to capture her beauty. He wanted us to see her as she really is. Beautiful. Whole. Innocent. But all the same, broken. He wanted us to recognize the beauty through the pain. He wanted to capture the moment and make us see it forever. So that when we come back to our comfortable homes in the States in a matter of weeks, we will remember that oceans and miles away-- there is a young girl who once held as tightly to a tangerine orange balloon as she held on to life. And as she stood against that red brick wall and stared off into the distance, completely unaware that she was being watched, and photographed--all the while Enoch knew. He knew that one day we would gaze upon Irene and her balloon, and remember that while we embrace our parents whom are still alive, and our boyfriends whom we hope to marry, and our friends whom we long to see . . .

His friend Irene is dying; He dying. And desperately hoping we will remember the days we spent beside them, holding them, loving them--that we may continue even at a distance the great work our Father has begun.

"God Cares. This I am sure"

We were robbed.

Yes that is right. There we were, walking three of us girls-Kelsey, AmyRose and Stacie all walking along in the middle of Kampala headed to the taxi park. I don't think we have elaborated on what it's like at the taxi park. You see, There is a big dip in the ground in the middle of the city that is crammed with hundreds upon hundreds of taxis all sitting and waiting for people...as a taxi is filled, then it will attempt to make its way out of the crammed taxi chaos out onto the crowded streets of even more taxis and people dodging the taxis not to get smashed. Thankfully, we have not witnessed that. However we have witnessed a bicycle flying down the main highway road which was sloped, allowing the bike to glide freely down hill. The courageous gentleman on the bike was even leaned down to make himself go quicker. As the traffic backed up, we bagan to slow, but the bicyclist was in no hurry to put on his breaks, so he slams right into the back of a vehicle...possibly not seeing the bright red car parked right in his way. We weren't sure. We think he made it up okay, but the traffic began to pick back up so we were not able to check.

Back to the robbery. There we were walking towards the taxi park when all of a sudden this gigantic semi comes down our road forcing us to get off the road due to the monsterous size. A man on the side of the road notices a)we were in danger and needed a very kind man to assist us in our trouble or b)there are three white girls that I can pick-pocket and they will be so concerned with getting off the road that I will have plenty of time to check all of their bags. If you thought a...that is what we obviously thought as well...however this kind man who swooped us up from the road to get us out of the way of the semi darting right at us had b in mind and was able to reach inside both AmyRose's and I's purses and take both of our phones. We both felt sick all day. To make things even worse, we were not able to find a taxi that would take us back to Entebbe to our homes...And the sun began going down and we did not want to be stuck in Kampala by ourselves after dark. So after we walked about ten miles all over the city we finally found a taxi that agreed to taking us to Entebbe. I could not think of anything else other than what I could have done differently that day to make all the terrible events that happened, not happen. It was consuming me and making me feel even more nauseated. As soon as I got on the taxi I saw that an adorable little girl-probably 2-was sitting in the lap of a couple people over from me and was excited to see that she could cheer me up. But as soon as I smiled at her, she began bawling and thought to myself, the one thing that could keep me from crying is now crying and that was when the tears began streaming down my cheeks into puddles on my shirt. She was afraid of white people. The guy next to me looked at me and said how was your day. I just wanted to say to him, "Obviously by river of tears flowing down, I have had a rough day and would appreciate it if you wouldn't ask such obvious statements and not continue this conversation." But instead I half smiled at him and said, "Well, sir, I have actually had better days than this one." He just smiled at me and said," God cares. This I am sure." OF COURSE HE DOES. He cares. Even of the stupid little things that we care about. No he does not care about cell phones. But because we care about them, he cares. He cares because he loves us. He cares because he created us and wants to see us happy and wants to see that we are well taken care of and this man who was sitting next to me had no idea what a difference he made in my life with those six simple words.

Then I began thinking about the situation a little more clearly and not so emotionally disturbed by the loss of our precious communication to the rest of the world. I began to think about the man that stole the phone and how awful it must be to be a theif. How he probably has a family just like we do. He probably has a wife and some kids and hungry stomachs to feed when he got home that evening. His kids birthdays are probably coming up and he just needed money to buy the kids a nice meal of rice and beans to celebrate. If you want to know the greatest need in Uganda after being here for four months...I would have to pinpoint the lack of jobs. That is why kids are not schooling. Because they know that even if they do get the opportunity to attend school, they will still not have much of a future unless they want to become corrupt and steal and cheat to get anywhere. This man was just taking his opportunity when he saw white people. In his mind, he was thinking,"They may have something worth some kind of value and whatever they have I am sure they will be able to get again without much of a problem." Which, in a weird twisted way, I believe that we would do the same thing for the sake of our children. We would do anything to find a way to make a little money to feed the hungry...especially if the hungry are those you bore and see every day. Now I am not in any way justifying stealing. That is wrong. I just got a different picture of the man who stole our phones and my heart was changed from bitterness to brokeness. Thank you Jesus, for opening the eyes of the blind.

A blizzard...In Uganda??

Just realized it has been almost TWENTY days since our last blog...and we are EXTREMELY sorry about it!! The days have been filling us with so much lately that by the time we get our emails caught up, it is WELL past our bedtimes...well mine anyway, AmyRose never sleeps!! Also, the internet has been super shady lately and comes and goes as it pleases...

We have been taking shelter inside our home due to the blizzard of bugs that is among us here in Entebbe. There has been an insane mass release of the bugs that has been smothering our air. These dreadful awful bugs are referred to as "lake flies" and they are over-taking Entebbe. Because of their light-weight bodies, these bugs are easily transported by the wind from the sesse islands daily ...but it has not been as bad of a problem as it has been the last two days. The bugs do not move without the wind. So the wind carries them in, then the wind settles, and that is where the bugs stay...all day until another gush of wind comes to move them to their next location. They are white flying creatures similar to fruitflies...only about three times the size. The life span of these critters are about twelve hours. So they come, annoy all outside life, and then die. But they don't normally die until about 8 or 9 oclock at night so we are stuck inside all day waiting for this time of bugs to end, which rumor has it, will happen by the beginning of May. So as we make our journey out, we are forced to either cover our faces with shirts, scarves, or our personal favorite... FACE MASKS. The Ugandans think we are crazy, but we'd rather be crazy than be infested with these nasty little creatures from within. Pray that these little critters find some place else to reside so that we can move out of our home!! Also for AmyRose because she has developed an allery to these bugs and it is only getting worse...She said this morning, "I feel like death." We cannot have that happening!!

My birthday was on the 23rd so we are preparing to have a celebration at Abba home this evening...Since the flies have kept us prisoners inside our own homes, we have been busy baking away making all sorts of treats-cookies, cakes, and muffins...so hopefully the kids will not get a sugar over-load as to never having this much sweetness in one evening!!

Dumpster babies anyone??

Okay so here are a few updates---

Malaria-
After the horrendous episode with Stacies illness, Emily took a blood test which tested positive. Then AmyRose began feeling ill and we decided it would be best for her to take a test as well. Guess what?! Positive again. Then Mama Pease took a blood test, not because she wasn't feeling well, but because we wanted to find out if the test was faulty....which in turn was positive. We found out that we were reading the tests incorrectly and that Stacie had TWO lines which was in fact positive but the rest of the family had ONE line, which means we do not have to have lock-down and quarantine the entire household!! Stacie is feeling 100% better-thank you for all your prayers!!

Remand home-
As we told you in the last blog, we have been put on a program for every Saturday to go and minister to the kids in the children's prison. We have been super excited about this because most of the kids in the prison have done nothing legally wrong, they just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time!! So before going on Saturday, we stopped at the supermarket to get huge bags of candies and suckers for the kids!! We walked the rest of the way with these massive bags of candies and once we got there, we were greeted with friendly smiles of about ten people we had not seen before. The wardens assistant came out and told us we were not allowed to see the kids. With our hearts breaking, Stacie asked "Why can't we see the kids??" "Because you do not get to." "Look, we came all the way from Entebbe-which is about an hour and a halfs drive on a "taxi" to see these kids. We have to see them." "Sorry. You are not on the schedule." "Yes, we are!! We are on the schedule to come EVERY Saturday. Why can't we see them." "Well, we changed the schedule." At this point, we were super frustrated and decided to just leave before we got ugly. We ended up passing candies out to the street kids. It is always a challenge with the language barrier because we are always wanting to share Jesus, but it is so hard when we cannot speak the language. So we just pass the suckers out saying Jesus loves you...and pray that they understand. At least their tummies will be satisfied for the time being. :-)

Ssanyu-
We went to the Ssanyu babies home again today. And again we are sitting here with the stench of soured milk, unwashed, snotty nosed children and are continually reminded with every whiff of the beautiful bodies that so often go untouched and that they are so precious to Jesus. Our hearts break secondly with the thought that Emily was found only weeks ago in a dirt pit, unclothed, with no explanation. Just a bare bottomed baby crying out from hunger pains and not having a mommy or daddy to ease her comfort. Or for Benjamin who was found in a dumpster and left for death. Benjamin was malnourished to the point that his bones were popping out of his body and he was struggling for breath. For months they had to treat Benjamin with tender care in hopes and prayer that he would continue breathing. After 6 months, Benjamin is finally able to eat solid foods and is always all in smiles every time we see him. Or how about Francis' story. Francis is a ten month old who, they say, was the most malnourished kid they have ever seen. He came from the hands of a demon possessed woman who, the demons told her that if she fed her son, they would kill her. So she wouldn't feed Francis and slowly, Francis was starving to death. The police found Francis and took him to the Ssanyu. Francis has a lot of problems and needs so much care. He is ten months old and cannot sit up on his own. He does not see very well and makes no motion to sound. Please pray for Francis!! and all the kids at the Ssanyu babies home!! and all the orphans all over the world because if you want to make Jesus happy, you will take care of the widows and orphans because that is the heart of Jesus!! AMEN!! We love you all and we love the support that you give us daily!! We are so grateful to have this opportunity to serve in Uganda and see where the Lord leads!!

Healing and Ssanyo

Well the Malaria epidemic has finally taken a turn for the better! While Stacie is still coughing quite a bit (like every time she tries to laugh) and blowing quite a plethora of thick green snot on a pretty consistent basis (thought you'd love the details), she is WAY better than what she has been. Energy and health is slowly but surely returning, and she is finally able to move out and about without passing out or becoming light-headed and/or nauseated. Praise God! However, our dearest 'little sister' Emily, of the Pease family has contracted Malaria as well. She woke up feeling ill this morning, and produced a positive test result, so be sure to keep her in your prayers.

Stacie, Papa Eric, Ivan and I were able to trek out to the Ssanyo Babies' home this morning, amidst the torrential downpours and crazy drivers of Uganda. We made it safely (barely) and thoroughly enjoyed the morning hanging out w/ toddlers and babies, as well as feeding them and assisting in 'potty time.' Papa Erc personally fell in love with a young girl named Emily, who was brought in just a couple weeks ago, after being found in a dust bin. And I personally fell head over heels for a 1 1/2 yr. old young boy named David. SUCH a hilarious and adorable little boy.....as Stacie has previously mentioned, ALL BABIES ARE UP FOR ADOPTION :) :) :)

Tomorrow we will head to the Naguru Remand Home (children's prison) to love on and minister to some kids. Prayers for relationship building and effective ministry. And thank-you for all prayers sent up for Stacie's health!

Also, I have been asked to help lead Group Therapy at the Early Learning Primary School in Entebbe. Our friend Katherine Bodo is studying psychology/counseling and is 'practicing' counseling services at the school. The kids we are working with are ages 11-14yr. boys and girls who have behavioral problems and are struggling academically. We had our first session on Tuesday--and it was quite interesting. I am VERY excited to be working alongside Katherine, especially doing something I love to do. But i was rudely awakened by a dose of culture shock during our first session. There is an obvious racial barrier, a language barrier, and an enormous culture barrier. Please pray that God will grant wisdom to us as to how to best relate to these kids and how to go about initiating healing in their lives.

Thanks again for thoughts and prayers and God bless!!!